HOW TO // Stop Being Impressed By Minimal Effort

It’s safe to say we all know the feeling of watching a friend date someone who clearly isn’t right for them. We’re not talking about simple incompatibility but those relationships that are clearly toxic and/or manipulative. Maybe it involves fighting every time they’re separated out of uncalled-for jealousy, ignoring text messages as a form of emotional abuse, not communicating at all, saving attention for when situations are on their terms, etc. The list of possibilities is endless, but we’ve all seen these relationships throughout our lives. It’s unfortunate and often frustrating to watch someone waste their time and energy on a relationship just to be hurt in the end. Perhaps it was even you on one side or the other of one of these relationships.

We have to stop being impressed by minimal effort and start holding out for the treatment we deserve. If you feel like you could do better in your relationships, try surprising your friends or significant other with something “just because.” Until this is done, things aren’t going to change. Stop putting up with so many lows for the few highs. It’s not a one-way street. Both people have to step up and be who they want to be with others. We have to start communicating and demanding better for ourselves. If you’re dating someone, here are some tips.

  1. Buy your significant other flowers just because and never only because you did something wrong.

  2. Do the dishes.

  3. Clean the bathroom.

  4. Text them asking how their day is going because you’d be surprised how much that means.

  5. Make them dinner or if you don’t cook, go get some take-out once in a while.

  6. Don’t stop doing the things you do in the first few months when it’s new.

  7. Most of all, work on communication. I’m convinced “almost” every relationship issue can be curbed before it really starts if both parties are willing to communicate and create an environment that feels safe to do so.

If that’s done, there’s no need for all the passive-aggressive moves or draining arguments. Do these things for each other or wait for someone who does. We really believe in the power of communication in relationships and hope this gives you the permission you needed to feel loved, respected, and accepted in your relationships.

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